


Id

by xxStarryEyedDreamerxx



Series: Id, Ego, & Hubris [1]
Category: Greek and Roman Mythology, The Iliad - Homer, The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Accidentally Penetration, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood, Boys In Love, Canon Character of Color, Canon-Typical Violence, Carrier verse, Child Abandonment, Chiron is the G.O.A.T (I know he is a centaur), Death, Father Figures, First Kiss, First Period, First Time, Forced Marriage, Forced Relationship, Gen, Greek Gods are Cruel, Horny Teenagers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Inappropriate use of olive oil ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)., Intercrural Sex, Kidnapping, Loss of Innocence, Loss of Trust, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Near Death Experience, Other, Per usually, Rape/Non-con Elements, She is crazy obessive over her son, The Moirai - Freeform, Thetis does fucked up shit, True Love, Unplanned Pregnancy, Young Love, cross dressing, forced consummation, or completely appropriate use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2019-10-02 21:07:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17271140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxStarryEyedDreamerxx/pseuds/xxStarryEyedDreamerxx
Summary: “Name one hero who was happy."He couldn't."You can't," Achilles sat up bringing him with him."I can't," he told him."I know. They never let you be famous AND happy." He lifted an eyebrow. "I'll tell you a secret.""Tell me." Patroclus loved it when he was like this."I'm going to be the first." Achilles took his palm and held in his. "Swear it.""Why me?" His lover could be so mysterious at times."Because you're the reason. Swear it.""I swear it,"  he said, lost in the high color of Achilles' cheeks, the fire in his eyes."I swear it," he echoed.Achilles' pink lips tilted up in a blinding smile, "I feel like I could eat the world raw,”  before he leaned over to kiss him.Gods, he was so in love with him. Their kiss grew more and more heated.___A/N____I'm redid some chapters, feel free to check out the revisions or continue without them.





	1. First Blood

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year, babes. 🎉🎉🎉🎉
> 
> Welcome to Id, you're in for a wild ride. Of feels and sporadic updates.

Chiron had quietly pulled him aside when Achilles was out hunting. Their teacher didn’t say much, perhaps to spare him the embarrassment. Handed him a basket filled with scraps of cloth and a few jars of herbs.

“Chop and grind them up and mix them with water or wine, they will help to ease your pain,” he said. Patroclus’ eyes filled with tears as hugged him tightly. Chiron didn’t startle but instead held him tighter, “Go and rest, I will call for you when dinner is ready.”

“How, did you know?,” he snuffled, even now it felt strange to have kindness shown to him. This was his first bleeding since his secondary sex came in. Gods, it hurt so much.

“My daughters once lived here with me, I know of both the signs and discomfort. You should rest,” Chiron kindly ruffled his hair, before releasing him.

“But,” he didn’t want Achilles to become suspicious of him suddenly going to sleep. After all he had promised him to go swimming with him later.

“I will deal with him, go,” Chiron again shooed him off to bed. Patroclus placed the cloths carefully inside, not wanting more blood to spread around. Last night, he was lucky Achilles was such a heavy sleeper. He struggled most of the night in pain, before getting up to see the cause.

In the pale moonlight red greeted his sight. No, no not again. The sheets were lightly dotted, so he placed a cloth it over the stains until morning had come. Once Achilles left, he smuggled them out to the stream to wash. The stains came out easily, praise the Gods. He would have to keep track of this from now on. This time he had been luck, the next not so much.

Chopping the herbs as Chiron instructed him, and added the powder to a cup of water. It was so bitter, he scoured around the kitchen a bit. Aha, there it was. Grabbing the jar of honey, he added a spoonful to it. Tasting it again, it was more palatable. Another wave of cramps swept over him, and he was all too glad to cuddle up in the bed of warm furs. A treacherous thought drifted up as he fell asleep, “I can bear him a child.”

How silly of him, if he was lucky Achilles would continue their friendship even after he married. A princess or some other woman would bear him many children. Never him, in fact he would be horrified if he even suggested such a thing. A few tears dripped down his cheeks, after all he had run from him after a kiss. Thinking about that only added to his misery.

* * *

 

Achilles slung the doe across his shoulders, uncaring of the blood that stained his tunic. Patroclus and he were going swimming together anyway, so it didn’t matter. He didn’t know why, but being around Patroclus made him feel strange. None of the other boys, that his father had fostered made him try so hard to impress them. In fact they fell over themselves to please him, but with Patroclus he craved his attention. His cheeks reddened, then Patroclus kissed him making him feel even more strange. He had run from him for various reasons, one his mother had seen and he knew she would disapprove. He hated to make her disappointed in him, and he was afraid of what she would do to his friend. And because he, himself was confused with what he felt for him. Did he like him like that? Achilles had never had a friend before and he wasn’t sure that he wanted to ruin that.

He felt his cheeks heat up even more. When he had first come here he had been ecstatic. Patroclus had been bold enough to defy his mother and follow him here. Like he hoped he would. Achilles liked having him close, in an odd way he felt complete with him here. Learning together, fishing, hunting, swimming, sleeping together, eating wild berries. Achilles longed to kiss him again, especially with all that juice running down his chin. He fantasized about it, how he would taste again. How soft his lips looked. How plump and red they were.

Achilles stopped, what was he doing. Patroclus was his friend, his best friend. He could never have him like that, he had rejected him after all. He thought Patroclus would treat him cruelly afterwards, instead he was shy around him. He hated how he had treated him, made him cry. What made him feel even worse was how Patroclus still smiled at him and wanted to be his friend. Gods, he was a monster for toying with him like that. It had taken days before they fell back into their easy comradery. Especially since they had to share a bed, but they managed.

It would be a few months before they would be able to swim together, the weather had already grown chillier. Placing the doe down in the mouth of the cave, later he and Chiron would work to skin it of both meat and hide. They needed to be prepared for winter. “Patroclus,” he called at the mouth of the cave. When he received no response, wandered further inside the rose crystal cave to call for him again. Until he found Patroclus bundled in their bed, sleeping face crumpled up in pain. Brushing his hand across his forehead, huh no fever. Achilles immediately ran to get Chiron, searching the caves until, he found him in the drying room. A bundle of herbs held posed in his hands.

“Teacher, Patroclus is ill. I came back to ask if he wanted to swim, found him in our bed. He doesn’t have a fever, but is clammy and his face is scrunched up in pain. Even as he sleeps,” he said in a rush. Chiron glaced up at in him in an infuriating calm way. Now was not the time to be calm, Patroclus was sick.

 

“Calm yourself, Pelides. I have attended to him, he will be well in three days times. It is only a small illness nothing to concern yourself with. Now, run along you have chores to complete,” Chiron told him before going back to his herbs. Achilles wanted nothing more than to stomp his foot and demand that he see to him, but that was not behavior befitting a prince. Besides, he had already given him something for his illness.

 

“Thank you, teacher,” he told him, bowing out. Chiron smiled and nodded at him. Going through the tunnels again, stopped to peek on Patroclus once more. His features had relaxed and looked so peaceful. Achilles couldn’t resist placing a small kiss to his forehead.

 

“Sleep well, my beloved therapon,” he whispered smoothing his curls back from his face. Not once had he stirred, Gods above his cheeks were hot. He should finish his chores, then he could snuggle up to him. Hopefully, that would make him better.

* * *

 

Patroclus blinked a few times to clear his sleep slowed brain, the cave was dark with only small illumination of light. It was late, he wondered if Achilles had a nice time swimming. His cramps were dull for the moment, but he needed to change the cloth. Going to move, he was startled when he was pulled flush against a warm chest. 

Achilles, he guessed.

“Go back to sleep, Patroclus. You need to get better,” Achilles slurred against him. Patroclus thought he had gone swimming without him, his heart sped up. Achilles was so concerned, about him thinking him ill. He was ill, just not as he thought. It was only his first bleeding. Speaking of which he needed to get up, but it was so comfortable and warm. Patroclus let Achilles draw him back down.

“Yes, there you go. I’ll protect you, always,” he muttered, before soft snores drifted from him. Patroclus struggled not to go to sleep again, it was so hard not to. He felt so safe here with Achilles. Felt so loved here. It didn’t matter if he didn’t return his feelings, he would take refuge in his attentions. Something about him had drawn this golden boy to him and he would cling to this feeling as long as he could. Anything to drive away the loneliness that ate at his core. How his father’s cruelty haunted him even now.

 _“You whore_ ,” he wished for once that the ghost of father would be silent. It had been years since he had even seen the man. It was time to let his demons rest. He was safe here.

 

* * *

 

> “He saw you for the little whore you are. You teased him and when he wanted to take you, you refused. Such a disgrace you are, spreading your legs for anyone that pays you a bit of attention. Gods above how did I end up with a harlot for an heir,” he bid himself not to flinch. Clysonymus’ attentions hadn’t been welcome or returned in the least. What had started as a fight for dice, nearly ended in his rape.
> 
>   
>  He curled into himself. His father’s beady eyes scanned over him and he scrunched up further inward.
> 
> “I had even thought of arranging a match for you with the boy’s sister. Instead of joining our families, his family calls for your death. But I have deemed exile a more suitable punishment.” Exile. He dared to glance up at his father.
> 
>   
>  His father sneered at him, “ Don’t look so surprised, you are still a prince, a worthless one. Still one nonetheless. I will not allow you to be executed for a mere commoner.” He bowed his head again. There was a fear to be among unfamiliar people and culture, but his traitorous heart leapt up with joy. He would be free of his father. Free of all of his hatred. Perhaps this new people would not be so cruel to him as his father had been.
> 
>   
>  “You will offer a sacrifice to the and be cleansed at the Temple of Zeus for your transgression of murder, tomorrow,” his father’s eyes bore into his. He had killed another boy in cold blood, but the thought of his own father made his blood freeze.
> 
>   
>  “This is the only other kindness, I will show you. Prepare what little you wish to take with you. Never will you never return here again, all of your claims to my throne are resolved. His father sneered a bit, “ If you find yourself with child don't return here, for your base born children won't be welcomed here,” as if he would be so bold or foolish. Never would his children know such evil and cruelty.
> 
>   
>  “ Your exile will be on Pithia, there you will be trained to hopefully become more than the pathetic-,” his father finished by gesturing at him. Something about this was vaguely familiar, but something wasn't right.
> 
>   
>  “Pray that Achilles won't see you what you truly are,” he backed away from the throne. There was no way his father could know of this.
> 
>   
>  “ A whore, one that spreads his legs for any and every,” he shook his head he would never. He had never.
> 
>   
>  “ I’m not and I have never,” he shouted back. His father only smirked at him in response.

  
Patroclus woke up to warm hands shaking him. Startled he glanced up to find Achilles looming over him, hair in disarray and face concerned. When he saw him awake, brushed his curls away from his sweaty face.

  
“Don't cry, I'm here,” Achilles whispered. Patroclus touched at his face, oh he was crying. It was embarrassing to have cried like so in his sleep.

  
“ I'm fi-ne,” he sniffled. Achilles pulled him into a hug. He was so kind and warm.

  
“You aren't, if you were you wouldn’t be crying. Did you have a nightmare?,” Achilles hummed against him, expecting an answer. Patroclus smelled so soft, he couldn't help but hold him a little tighter. Rosemary if his nose was right, a current of sage.

  
Patroclus didn't seem to mind his greedy grip instead unconsciously cuddled closer to him. Achilles’ heart was thudding so loud in his chest, praying that he couldn't hear it.  Gods, he swore if it beat any faster, it would fly from his chest.

  
Achilles smoothed his dark curls again, how he longed to kiss his crown, but decided against it. He didn't want to confuse him, not when he was so vulnerable. Gods, he hated to see him cry and be upset. It made him uneasy, a reason that he couldn't name.

  
“What was it about?,” he asked, tearing himself away from his lovely curls. Everything about him was lovely.

  
Patroclus shook his head, burrowing himself further into his arms. Achilles wouldn't push him, let him decide to tell him.  
At last quiet voice came from his chest, “ It was about my father.” He frowned, of course.

  
Achilles had seen Patroclus’ father once, and he found nothing of Patroclus in him. Nor anything of the king in Patroclus. Patroclus seemed to radiant a warmth that the king lacked. Patroclus always seemed vibrant with his dark skin and freckles, cheeks flushed with health and vibrancy. And Gods his eyes so expressive, sometimes he thought he could get lost in those dark pools. The king on the other hand had olive tan skin , dark hair streaked with grey, and ever steely, beady eyes. The grey tint of a blade, is what he would describe them as, filled with nothing but coldness. Poor Patroclus, to have grown up with such neglect. There would be none of that anymore, Achilles would make sure he felt welcomed. Always.

  
“ I'm here now, go to sleep. I'll protect always,” this time he sneaked a small kiss to his curls, Patroclus was so lost in thought he didn’t notice. Or maybe he had, Achilles prayed that he hadn’t.

  
Patroclus suddenly redrew from his arms, he had noticed and thought him weird. He had ruined everything. Drawing his arms back to his side and Patroclus drifted away the bed to their table before he moved away. His tears gleamed in the low light of the moon.

“I only need some air,” he told him, Achilles nodded his head in agreement. Praying that the moon would not betray how red his cheeks were.“I’ll be here if you need to-,” he paused,” if you wish to talk.”  
Patroclus sent him a sweet smile, that made his heart flip again.

  
“ I will,” he promised before ducking out of their sleeping space.

* * *

 

That had been too close for comfort. He hoped he hadn't bled on the sheets. Sneakily he had grabbed another cloth.

  
Changing the now soaked one, Hera that was a lot of blood. How would he ever seek to hide this from Achilles. Or explain to him every month when he took ill with cramps.

  
Gods, why him. Why this why now.


	2. Winter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, writer's block has been a trip. So I apologize in advance for such a short chapter.

White snowflakes accumulated in Patroclus’ dark hair, the cold making his cheeks rosy. His dark eyes sparkled as he marveled at the snow, how cold it was and how pure it was. Achilles watched him so innocent and free in his expression. Gods, he was so perfect. If only he could have told him how he felt about him. Achilles cursed himself near daily for rejecting him as he did.

Holding out his own hand to catch a few snowflakes. It had not snowed in Pithia since he was a child. This was an even rarer sight for Patroclus who had never seen snow before. His country had been too far south to experience it.

“It's so cold,” Patroclus exclaimed tugging his cloak around him further.

Achilles snickered a bit, well he had a lovely idea to warm him up. Patroclus had turned away from him, heading back to the cave. Quickly, he scooped up a bit of snow into his hand and packed it until it formed a perfect round ball.

Aiming it counted, until he heard his shriek.

“ _Perfect_ ,” he thought.

“ACHILLES,” Patroclus screamed, turning back to face him. Achilles was laughing too hard, to notice that Patroclus had scooped up his own snowball. Until the icy cold of it whacked him in his face.

Too shocked to even make a noise, Achilles stumbled and landed right on his butt in the cold wetness. Which sent Patroclus into a round of laughter. Gods, even his laugh was pretty.

Snickering, Patroclus held his hand out for him. Achilles took it, but instead of using it to stand he pulled him down into the snow.

“Ack,” was the startled noise he made,  as the wetness of the snow seeped into his cloak. Achilles pressed into the snow straddling him.

His heart sped up, Achilles had moved so close to his lips. Patroclus thought for sure, he would kiss him. Instead Achilles withdrew from him, drawing him with him. Patroclus felt a little like a rag doll the way Achilles just pulled him up like that. Oh Gods, he felt how blood rushed to his cheeks. Hera above why did he blush so much?

Achilles didn't even seem bothered by how he had been half on top of him, per usual. His green eyes sparkled so brightly, while his usually tan cheeks were pale from the lack of sunlight and lightly flushed. So vibrant even if the land around them was stilled by Demeter's hand.

 

“Come on Patroclus we should get back, you’ll become ill again if you stay in your wet clothing to long,” Achilles held in wrist in his grip. Not tight enough to hurt him just a light pressure.

 

“It’s your fault, my clothes are wet,” Patroclus shot back with no heat. Not even angry with him, just a little cold. Snow while pretty was freezing and he would like to be out of it soon. 

 

“I apologize my dearest therapon,” Achilles said snuggling up to his side. Patroclus wanted to move away from him, his furs were soaked. They both needed to changed because they were going to get get sick.

* * *

 

Achilles had been so close, he could have kissed him had he wanted to. Patroclus had been right there, his dark hair spread around him, both his cheeks and lips flushed from the cold. Yet again he had been a coward. There was always next time.

Patroclus sneezed, Achilles felt a little guilty. He had just recovered from an illness a few weeks ago. Sometimes he forgot that Patroclus was mortal and was vulnerable to such things. Thoughts he hated to dwell on, that one day Patroclus would be taken from him. Gods, the agony he would feel would be comparable to Orpheus' when Eurydice was taken from him.

* * *

 

Chiron had warm mugs of something sweet when they returned, then shuttled them off to bed.

Cuddled up with Patroclus beneath their blankets, Achilles’ heart had all but stopped, when Patroclus rolled into his arms. His expression was soft peaceful, so beautiful that he drew his finger lightly along his cheek. Before stopping, what was he doing?

 Gods, he was fucked. Complete and utterly fucked. He had sworn to himself that he wasn't going to fall in love with him. This was going to ruin everything. Their friendship, Gods. What had he done?

Patroclus shuffled in his sleep, his breath right at his collar. His panic stopped for a moment. To love him, it wouldn't be a hardship. In fact Achilles would do anything for him. Tugging the blanket closer around him, Achilles drew him closer. But... 

“I think I love you,” the words hung in the air around them. As Patroclus’ steady breaths continued, Achilles felt brave enough to confess to the darkness.

"I don’t just know how to love you. You’re so fragile at times, I’m afraid I’ll hurt you. "

" _I feel as if all I do is ruin things. I don't want to ruin you. Hades, I don't even think I can even tell you I love you_ , " Achilles finished in his mind before drifting off.

* * *

 

The way Patroclus had come back shaking, with his eyes teary and flushed face. He knew his mother had finally come to visit him. What horrible things had she told him this time?

Achilles would speak to her about that, there was no need to frighten him.

“Your mother is here,” he told him setting down a basket filled to brim with jars herbs and cloth? Patroclus caught him staring, shook his head.

“Chiron knows how clumsy I can be,” he explained, putting it on a nearby shelf. Achilles sighed, throwing off the warm fur of their bed. Only his mother would have him visit her in this cold. He would have rather snuggled up with Patroclus.

“It should be brief,” he told him ruffling his hair. A soft smile graced his lips.

“Don’t worry, I won’t let her make you leave or allow her to harm you,” Achilles said leaning into his space, to peck his cheek. Praying that Patroclus didn’t see him flustered.  

Patroclus’ cheeks went red, but Achilles was already out of their room. It was innocent, he meant nothing by it. They often held hands and kissed each other on the cheeks. Something they could get away with as children, but soon that would come to an end soon.

* * *

 

Achilles came to her flushed, so red even the tips of his ears were scarlet. She wanted to sneer, and she could only guess that Patroclus was the cause. One would only have to guess what they had been up to.

Still, it pleased to see her child growing and thriving. It was not yet time, but soon.

“Mother,” he greeted from a distance.  At times she missed how he would eagerly run into her arms, screaming, "Mother."

“ **My son** ,” she returned examining him. Oh, he was losing his baby fat. From where she stood she he was becoming taller and shoulders broadening. His face was beginning to sharpen, a faint echo of Peleus. The way his eyes had began to tilt in that infuriating way.

He was aging, it needed to stop before he was gone from her in a blink. For even with her divine blood, he would be ravaged by time. She would be forever immortal and would never be permitted to see him in the Underworld, for her grief and pride wouldn’t allow it. Achilles in the Underworld would be the ultimate failure.

Achilles approached her unsure. His arms seemed as if he wanted to reach for her, but hesitation was in his every move. This was her own fault. She had rarely embraced him as a child, fearing crushing him. He had been so little, her babe. Taking pity on him, she moved on. Duties would soon require her back.

“ **How are your studies coming, Achilles**?”

His eyes lit up, “Wonderful mother, Chiron taught Patroclus and I how to dry and store meats for the winter......” Achilles was part God and a prince. He should be learning how to wield a sword or spear, and learn his philosophy not labour like a commoner. She supposed she would have to put aside more duties to come visit him and supplement his training.

Patroclus, him. She fought to keep disgust from her face, she wasn’t naive. Achilles and he were probably doing a multitude of unspeakable things to each other when Chiron turned his back. The months he spent here had been enough, he was to be sent home. 

“ **Achilles, you must know that Patroclus must be sent back to the palace. It isn’t proper that he remain here**.”

“I like having him here, mother. It would be so boring without him. I’m sure he would feel the same if he was sent back to the palace.” So distressed her son was at the thought of parting from that boy. If he continued along this path, it would only led to his ruin.

“ **Achilles, there will be talk. You are maturing and must think of your future. For one day you shall have to wife and son. You can’t have Patroclus with you always**.”

“I won’t allow you to. I want him here and he will stay here for as long as **I wish it.** ” Thetis observed her son. It seemed he was unaware he had just infused a bit of power into his voice. She restrained from rolling her eyes at her son's childish antics.

Fine, then her son could have his toy for now.

In the meantime, it was time for his true training to begin.

“ **He can stay** ,” Achilles’ eyes grew hopeful, “ **however you will attend training with me twice a month**.” His mouth formed went to protest, but instead he nodded.

“Thank you, mother,” he told her turning back to cave, before pausing mid-stride.

“Mother,” he faced her, his cheeks reddening,“ could you perhaps not frighten Patroclus so much. He has done little to draw your ire.”

The little idiot had probably ran back to her son crying, her son instantly coming to his aid. She hadn’t even said much to him, no more than she did the last time. Achilles didn’t even see how far he had fallen with the cow eyed boy, who was using him to further his own interests.

“ **I will make no apologies to him** ,” she snipped. He son sighed but said nothing further. As if she, a goddess would apologize to the boy who was spreading his legs for her son. A whore.

Why else would Achilles fight for him to stay if he wasn’t having his way with him?

* * *

 

Achilles would never understand why his mother was so hostile towards Patroclus. He had been incredibly revent of her, as deserving of a Goddess.

It had only been a kiss, there was no need for her to be so hateful towards him. In fact he would have liked him to do it again.

Chiron was waiting for him at the entrance of the cave, his teacher patted his shoulder before waving into the warmth of the cave.

Patroclus was anxiously straighten their bed when he poked his head in. A small bag sat on the side of it.

“Patroclus, what are you doing?,” he asked. He hoped he wasn’t leaving. Or think about leaving.

His doe eyes met his sadly, “You know she will not allow me to stay.” Achilles smiled at him.

“ I told her you have to. I need you here,” he said.

His words had the opposite effect, nearly all the color drained from his cheeks.

“You what?!”

Achilles continued to smile at him innocently, unaware of what he had done. Patroclus was sure she would hate him even more now. Gods, he had sit for a moment.

“Don’t worry, Chiron is talking to her as well. You’ll be able to stay,” he said snuggled next to him on the bed.

Patroclus didn’t mean to jump, but Achilles’ skin was freezing.

Achilles snorted from him side, before pressing himself further to steal his body heat.

“Anything to eat, I’m starving,” he asked after a while, poking up from his side. Patroclus didn’t want to laugh, that was Achilles so carefree and innocent.

“Dinner should be ready soon.”

* * *

 

Patroclus had been a nervous ball of energy even after he had been told he could stay. But he understood his anxiety.

To him his mother was simply mother, to others she was terrifying. His father didn’t even cross her, and he was her husband. Or however his parents’ relationship worked.

An hour passed before they saw Chiron again. Patroclus was still fidgeting with his hands.

“Patroclus,” at the sound of his name, he looked up startled.

Chiron smiled at him, “ You don’t have to worry, you are welcome here always.”

At that all of his tension bled out. Achilles saw how his jaw loosened and how his demeanor brightened. Finally, he was cheerful again.

He was a little jealous that he hadn’t been the one to bring that pretty smile back to his face.

Nonetheless, he swallowed it along with his stew. Patroclus was happy again, that’s all that mattered.

* * *

 

Their lessons with Chiron came when opportunities presented themselves. Smaller everyday things, as it was winter. They would have to wait until spring to truly get into physical things and such. 

Then came the day that Patroclus fell into a ravine.

 

 

> Patroclus had suggested they venture out to enjoy the warming weather, before they split up to study the still frozen river. Chiron told them that if they counted the number of cracks in the ice, they would know when spring would come. Achilles hadn't noticed until it was too late that Patroclus had never met him at their agreed meeting place.
> 
> His heart had fallen into his stomach, and for hours he and Chiron had searched for him.  When they finally found him, his right arm and knee were  fractured, the bones nearly protruding through the skin. Never again would Achilles let him out of his sight, he silently vowed cradling him to his chest. Patroclus was too precious, all too mortal. Gods, what would have happened had they been too late.
> 
> Setting Patroclus' limbs, had him screaming in agony. Sounds that rang in his ears long, after Patroclus was fast asleep passed out from both the pain and sedative Chiron had given him.
> 
> Achilles anxious watched over him for most of the night, praying he would not have a fever, clutching his hand,  praying to the Gods he would be well.
> 
> The next morning Patroclus woke up, in pain, but eyes clear from the haze of fever. Privately, Achilles sacrificed an offering to Apollo in thanks for his recovery, his mother would be furious if she ever found out.

For the next few days Patroclus hobbled around on wooden stick that Chiron had fashioned for him. And by the first few day of spring he should be back to running and playing alongside him. The faint scars around his arm and leg, would forever serve as a reminder. Of his mortality.

 

* * *

 

Thetis often came to visit and each time, Patroclus could tell when she was here. For the woods would fall even more silent. And what little grass and roots that still grew withered from where she had passed. Things of the ground did not like the sea.

Her presence was even more damning as Achilles came back to him smelling of the sea. When he lay next to him, the scent of it clung to everything. Cloying and hateful, ever the reminder of what Achilles was. Of his future, for glory, and immortality.

Patroclus continued his routine of asking Achilles how Thetis was but never truly cared for the answer. For it was always the same.

“ She is well,” Achilles would say with a few variations. “She sends her greetings…” It was still sweet how Achilles continued to pretend as if his mother didn’t hate his very guts.

* * *

Chiron could tell her visits vexed him greatly and would gently remind him that she was his mother. “But she is a Goddess first,” he thought.

All Thetis wanted was for Achilles to be immortal like her. Nothing would please her more.

Achilles too seemed stressed, when he came back from his visits with his mother. Angry, tense, and even in tears too many times to count.

“What did she say to make you so upset?” he asked once. Achilles had been quiet for a moment, before asking him if he would like to help with the chores.

Obviously, it wasn’t good if he had been so upset. Patroclus let it pass and went to help. Winter was still far from over. In fact it seemed as if it had settled more firmly around them.

* * *

 

Chiron had been showing him how to make a paste that wards off infections, when Achilles swept in. Bringing in both the chill of the winds and a black mood. His face was a mixture of anger and tears.

Patroclus rose to go to him when Chiron held his arm, subtly shaking his head. “Give him a moment, Patroclus.” He slumped back into his seat. Patroclus sighed and in boredom, stirred at the mixture over the fire.

He supposed Chiron was right, when Achilles got like this. Nothing he could say or do would ease his mood. It was better just to wait it out. With time Achilles would come to tell him, later in bed.

Which he often did. His hopes and dreams, and his fears, there were no barriers between them. It was so open between them, he loved him for it. How he trusted him with such important things. Often times Patroclus would just let Achilles talk while running his fingers through his thick curls. Making him melt further into his embrace.

“I’m not sure if I even want to be a God. The thought of it, appeals and at the same time repels me. Yet my mother insists that I prepare, as it is my destiny. Never once has she asked if this is what I want. Have you ever felt that way?,” he asked glancing up at him.

Patroclus had stilled for a moment. He had often felt like that as a child. His father had wished for a better, normal son. He had tried his best to please him, but it was all for nothing.

“Patroclus, Patroclus,” Chiron called touching his arm. And he looked up startled.

“Yes, teacher?”

“You're mixture has burnt, please redo it.”

Patroclus felt the flames of embarrassment lick at his cheeks. He had been so lost in his own thoughts, neglecting to watch the paste.

“I-I apologize,” he said ducking his head, preparing to be scolded. Instead a comforting weight settled in his hair, ruffling it. He blinked slightly, before looking up.

“Don't apologize, just try again. This time remember to watch it. I have a feeling you will be more successful this time.” Chiron gave him a warm smile. Patroclus returned it, abet smaller. This time he would definitely be more focused.

* * *

 

Achilles paced at the narrow length of their room trying not to scream. His mother was just so -so infuriating. She never came to see him when it mattered, oh no only when she wanted him to do something. To see if his skill with weapons had improved, even then it wasn’t good enough for her. There were always fucking corrections. Nothing was ever good enough for her. He would never be fucking good enough for her. God or not.

Achilles laughed a little to himself, swearing wasn’t very prince like, but by all the Gods who gave a damn. She could go to Hades and stay there. In fact he would be happy if he never saw her again. She had never been a mother to him.

He envied Patroclus, even if his mother had been simple. She had hummed melodies to him, tried to show him in her own way, that she loved him. Melodies that Patroclus often hummed to him.

His own mother was as cold and merciless as the sea, never once had he felt as if he had an ounce of her love or affection. For the Gods’ sakes she had abandoned him the day he was born. Jumping into the sea entrusting his care to nursemaids, Phoinix and his father. His father was to blame that was true, but he had been innocent in all of this. Haven’t asking to be born. Couldn’t she have come back for him, forgiven him. Taken him with her. Instead of leaving him to cry for her. All those years, he had waited for her. All those days, he cried for her. She had never come.

Achilles touched at his cheek, marveling at the wetness on his fingers. It had been years since he had last cried.

 

 

> The day his mother had led him back to the beach after the most wonderful day they had spent together. He clung to her begging her not to leave him, to take him with her. She refused. To placate him told him they could play. It had been cruel of her to get his hopes up.
> 
> Twirling and twisting around him, his mother made the water dance. In all types of shapes. A bear, a fox, finishing off her show by encasing him in a bubble letting him look at the life in the sea. A myriad of color met his eyes when he saw all the animals of the sea.
> 
> His mother smiled softly at his curiosity and joy. For once she seemed glad to see him, to be with him.
> 
> Achilles had wished for the day to never end, but it had. He was to be returned back to the land to his father. Not that he didn’t love his father, he just missed her terribly.
> 
> “Mother, I love you,” he told her earnestly with all his heart. Just this once his mother might stay. Stay with him. Play with him, then he won’t be so lonely. It was lonely not to have a mother. All the other children had mothers. Why not him, wasn’t he special? A demigod.
> 
> “ **And I, you my son** ,” with one last kiss to his forehead she sent him off. Back to his father, back to being lonely. At least until he had come.
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

Achilles joined them later, to start on his mixture. His face was lightly flushed, eyes rimmed in red. Patroclus moved to sit next to him, Achilles shot him a grateful smile. And like a snap his mood was light once more, and the goofing off resumed. By Patroclus’ blush and soft giggles, another bawdy joke.

Chiron shook his head to himself, young love. Even if they didn’t realize it yet. Their presence here made his heart light, eased the pain from his wound. His students were so bright and kind, he grieved for what they would face when they left his sanctuary. How cruel the world could be to them. This time both of their mixtures were perfect.

“Very good,” the gleam in their eyes brightened even more.

“That is enough for today, now off to bed with you,” he chided.

“Wait, we have to clean up,” Patroclus exclaimed. Achilles glanced at him curiously, the message in his eyes all too clear. “ _Let’s go. Chiron said we can go don’t argue with him._ ”

He shook his head,” You both have done enough now off to bed with you.”

This time they went with no argument. Let them play and be happy. For soon if would come to an end. They were to be men soon.

* * *

 

Achilles slept wrapped up around him, like a bear around its cub. To the point, he couldn’t breathe, feeling their skin stick together with sweat. It seemed as Achilles was having a nightmare, the way he cried in his sleep.

“Ssh, Achilles,” he cooed, raking his hand through his thick curls, even humming to him. What horrible things had he been dreaming of? Better yet what poison had his mother whispered in his ear.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thetis is I can't even. I just can't


	3. Springtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm backkkk did yall miss me? I apologize for how long this took like. Writer's block is awful.  
> Kisses enjoy beautiful people: )

 

Spring finally came, and with it they shed their fur cloaks. Their bodies had changed and lengthened without their notice.

Unbeknownst to them a new game began between them. A game of sneaking glances when the other wasn’t looking. Achilles felt his gentle gaze even when Patroclus wasn’t aware. A gaze he returned with longing.

Gods, he felt so clumsy and flustered around him. Even stupid, his mother would scold him if she saw him behaving like so. Like a mortal. He just couldn't help it, Patroclus made him wish he was normal. That he wouldn't have such an unfair advantage over him. That Achilles wouldn’t bruise him so much when they wrestled or sparred.

Patroclus sent him a soft smile across the way from his place at Chiron’ side. Chiron was showing them both how to identify snakes. It was unusual to call another boy, beautiful.

But by all the Gods, he was. Patroclus’ chocolate curls were always unruly, his dark eyes danced when the light hit them just right. His full lips were near the color of blood, often matching his cheeks. Stars like freckles covered every part of him, even more appeared when he had been in Apollo’s rays too long. Achilles was so in love with him, he could barely think.

Not just for his lovely appearance, but his fiery nature. Something they both had in common, but Patroclus was much more subtle in his. Something he had noticed from his “first” interaction with him.

Most of his foster brothers had come boastful and proud. Patroclus had been the opposite, he barely spoke or glanced in his direction. That had intrigued him. When he had first been introduced to him, he had been lounging about playing with his new lyre. As he would later find out had been Patroclus’ mother’s. It was a wonder they were friends at all.

Because of that Patroclus had spent much of their first meeting glaring at him, refusing to speak his name. Achilles had to all but drag it from him. Achilles had never had someone glare at him and eyes that spoke of hatred, it was intriguing. Only later had he recognized him as the little prince with the sad eyes. The boy he wanted to make smile. Always to make him smile.

Achilles had heard of his father’s arm master’s plans to have him whipped, he sought him out first hoping to speak sense into him. Somehow, he found himself bringing him to his music lessons, and the rest was history.

* * *

 

Chiron’s teachings complete for the day, he went to invite Achilles for a swim. Poor Achilles looked so red and flustered. Was the heat making him warm? Either way the refreshing water from the river would perk him up immediately.

“Achilles,” he called, tumbling down next to him a rush. “The weather is warm enough, we can swim.” Achilles appeared startled.

“Um- ofcourse Patroclus,” he stuttered out. Patroclus never noticed how he had stumbled over his words just smiled at him brightly.

“Race you there,” he called springing to his feet.

Achilles jumped to his feet to catch up to him.

* * *

 

Chiron shook his head they were so innocent with their shared affections. Soon their innocent glances and blushes would turn to something of a more passionate nature. Feelings they didn’t know what to do with.

* * *

 

Patroclus eagerly stripped of his tunic before jumping in the cool river. No longer did he hesitate in stripping down around him, unlike when he had first come.

Gods, it made him hungry for something he couldn’t even name. Just once he would like to sink his teeth into him and taste him. Make him, **his.** He rather liked the sound of that.

No, no, no. Patroclus was a person, not something to be owned. His therapon, best friend and brother.

Breaking out of his thoughts he realized, Patroclus was calling for him.

“Aren’t you coming in, Achilles,” he called. So innocent to his hungry and quite disturbing thoughts.

Achilles pulled his own tunic over his head, and Patroclus turned his head, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks. Hope rose in his chest, did Patroclus like him still? Even after he had been so cruel to him. Achilles dived in, instantly the water soothed him, water always made him calm. Perhaps because he and his mother were of the sea.

Finally resurfacing he found Patroclus staring at him curiously.

“Achilles, are you alright?” he asked swimming closer to him.

“Huh, why wouldn’t I be.”

“You were down there for some time.” The way he phrased it didn’t make him feel odd or strange. Just concern, he was so kind.

Patroclus shook his head, his sopping wet curls flopped into his rosy cheeks.

“Nevermind, let’s just enjoy the day,” he laughed.

* * *

Patroclus loved the little quirks of Achilles', he came to discover in their time here. They served to make him more human, more Achilles. As if he was not some God but his best friend. Who told the filthiest jokes, had the most adorable laugh that was like the chime of bells. His sometimes awful snoring, but found that when he slept on his side it was quieter. Even then he thought him cute.

The cute splattering of freckles across his nose. It had been an accident the way he discovered them, Chiron had let them out of their literature lesson early. Walking along the path, Achilles nudged him, then they were outright wrestling right in the path of dirt.

Somehow he had winded up on top, looking down at him. Eyes as green as the forest met his, for a moment neither of them breathed.

A strange compulsion made him lean in closer, blood rushing to his face in a flood. They were so close, he felt his heartbeat. He was so close.

 _“He going to do it, finally,_ ” Achilles thought. Patroclus leaned closer, his red lips parting. Achilles half fluttered his eyes closed.

“You have freckles,” he blurted out instead.

Achilles blinked at him, a red filling his cheeks, “ I do?”

“Yes, you do,” he giggled bringing a finger to trace them, “ right here across your nose.”

Just for that Achilles flipped him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If yall can't tell I'm having fun, trolling Achilles.  
> He'll get what he wants when he least expects it 👹👹👹👹


	4. Little Bit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello there, I apologize for the super late update. But hopefully the content is appealing  
> 😏😏😏
> 
> Like I love you guys, y'all are the best. Enjoy :)
> 
> Chapter title from Lykke Li- Little Bit
> 
> PSA: Thetis is trash don't @ me. So is Patroclus' dad. Garbage parents.

Patroclus looked up at him like a startled doe. And Achilles wasn’t going to lie, but he loved this look on him. Bracing himself up on his forearms, Achilles just let himself hover enjoying the way his pulse sped up and watched his cheeks reddened. How he longed to steal a kiss. He couldn’t, it wasn’t right. However he didn’t have time to contemplate that because Patroclus found the strength to flip them, and somehow his hand came to rest at his thigh.

The warmth of him left him the one startled now, and how dangerous close his hand was to going up his tunic. How simple it would be to just move his hand up and pull him down for a kiss. Having him sprawled over his lap losing themselves in passion. Achilles would kiss him until his lips were swollen.

The moment for it passed when Patroclus wrestled him to the ground and like that tension bled out.

As if there was something of a dance between them, like they were trying not to cross a line. The line could never be redrawn and redone. It was like Pandora’s box, if they opened it. There would be no going back. So they played along it, and everyday the line grew a little bit thinner.

* * *

 

Now that the weather had warmed up Chiron had asked them what else they would like to learn.

Achilles had said fighting then both of their eyes had been drawn to the sharp instruments on the wall for “surgery”.

“And the skill of surgery,” they said in unison. Chiron smiled at them fondly. However, in his eyes there was something Patroclus couldn’t decipher.

“Fighting then surgery,” he nodded.

“Today, we rest. Tomorrow, we fight.”

* * *

 

True to his word, Chiron began their training with drills, preparing them for their true practice.

A variety of weapons were placed before them, Chiron told them to pick. Achilles naturally gravitated to all things swords and spear. Patroclus found his hand resting at a well carved bow. He picked it up to test the balance of it, it had been so long since he had last picked up one.

Chiron nodded approvingly at them both.

“You will both learn, all of them.”

* * *

 

“Stop,” Chiron called circling around them. Just a few minutes with Achilles and he was dead tired. Ready to collapse on his feet. Patroclus tried to keep his breathing steady and get his heart rate under control. He needed some water, but to do so now would cause delay.

“Achilles you’re fast and your hits land every time but you’re leaving openings. Openings that your opponent could very well use against you.”

Achilles nodded taking his corrections and adjusting his stancing accordingly. Patroclus wearily raised his sword again. This time he wouldn’t have the advantage of Achilles’ wide openings, but that wouldn’t matter on a battlefield. Only the strongest and fastest hits won battles and ended lives. That Achilles had in spades. He would be the greatest warrior in Greece.

Which is why he couldn’t help his grin. Achilles grinned back at him through their crossed blades.

“Patroclus, loosen your grip a bit. And straighten your back a tad. It will help keep your balance and not give your enemy a chance to catch you off guard and get you away from your weapon” Patroclus did as he asked, “There.”

“Now,” Chiron said at last.  
Achilles smirked at him, but before their blades could cross again.

“A small break.” Patroclus could have collapsed in relief.

Dropping his sword into the grass, he made his way over to his waterskin all but devouring its contents in deep greedy gulps.

Achilles was still talking with Chiron. Vaguely he wondered about. Oh well.

* * *

 

Seeing Patroclus down his waterskin, Achilles felt vaguely embarrassed that he hadn’t thought to take a break.

Chiron too seemed to be appraising Patroclus.

“He has potential to be your equal but he will never quite reach your skills.” Achilles glanced at him from the corner of his eye, just in that short while Patroclus’ skin was absolutely drenched in sweat.

 

He was trying but it would never be enough, he was already so much faster. Achilles motioned for him to sit and he did nearly collapsing.

 

“Achilles you must remember yourself with him, although he appears that he can take it. Patroclus is only mortal after all. He will never be as fast or as strong, but he has heart and courage. This you must not abuse. For he is devoted to you without restraint.

Achilles wanted to lash out at him, how could he ever forget this. It was a near daily reminder for him, when Patroclus sneezed, when he tripped and cut his knee, or that awful day when he fell. Days with Patroclus brought him both pleasure and pain, because in an instance it could all be taken from him.

Quite frankly Achilles was appalled that Chiron would think, he would abuse his strength and privilege over him.

 

“I would never. He is my-,” _my everything, my heart_. Achilles felt blood rushing to his cheeks. Gods, he could never say that to his teacher. Only to Patroclus.

 

“He is dear to me. I would never mistreat or be cruel to him. I would never harm him.” Chiron eyed him a moment longer, before nodding. Achilles felt as if he had just passed a test of some sorts.

 

“Very well, then.”

  
“Do you wish to continue training with him?” Achilles bit at his lip.

“ _Did he?_ ,” glancing at Patroclus looking so thoroughly spent, but his face shined with pride “ _Was this his decision to make?_ ”

 

“Patroclus has the final say. If he wishes to, then I will.”

 

Chiron nodded, “ You know I have nothing more to teach you, but for a few corrections. But surely you know this already.”

 

Achilles returned it. “I know this.”

 

“You’re to be the greatest warrior Greece has ever seen, but…” Chiron paused for a moment as if considering his next words carefully. Their master was always so reserved with his words.

 

“Because of this men will hear of your skill and call upon you to fight in their wars. How will you answer them?” He had never thought of this before, he had simply always known he was the best. The best that there ever was. Aristo Achaion.

“I-”

  
“Ready?” Patroclus shouted walking back to them. Achilles grinned.

 

“Ready.” He could always think of such things later, there was still time. According to his mother, this choice would come as he was older. For now he wanted to spend his days with Patroclus. Being happy and growing into adulthood together.

* * *

 

Achilles had seemed somewhat melancholy, his mother had promised to visit him. However she had failed to show, Achilles had waited for her until it was nearly dawn. Before coming to lay with him then after a few hours got up again to wait for her.

Patroclus wasn’t sure how he could make him feel better, Achilles looked so out of sorts. So young with his knees pushed up to his chin. That was silly as he had already turned fifteen this morning. He, himself would turn fifteen right as summer ended. What could he do to perk him up.

**_Aha!_ **

  
“Achilles, would you like to go swimming today?” They both loved swimming in the river, the water was so refreshing and cool.

 

Achilles appeared to consider it, but sighed, “I can’t.”

 

“She’ll be angry if I miss our meeting.” Patroclus felt a mixture of sadness and anger for Achilles, how could Thetis do this to her own son. It was cruel, to get his hopes up only to... and if this how she did him on his birthday. He could only imagine how long Achilles had waited for his mother as a child only for her never to show up?

 

“ _What had Achilles looked like as a child. Younger than the race in Opus_?” he thought.

“ _Probably, just as beautiful as he is now_ ,” his imagination taunted, “ _but you will never have one of his children to find out. They would probably take after your unfortunate looks. Plain, boring. Awkward. Freckled and tall with hair that never behaves. Why on Earth would he ever mix his beauty with you_?”

 

“ **That is what a son should look like**.” That voice. Gods, why hadn’t his father’s presence ever lost its edge. He was tired of it. Tired of its hatefulness.No, enough of that Achilles needed him.

* * *

 

Patroclus’ cheeks flushed for a moment then paled just as quickly. Had he hurt his feelings?

That was it, He would wait for her no longer. His mother had made it obvious she cared little for his birthday. Achilles had waited for her since yesterday and this morning only for nothing. He should have know better, his mother never came on this day. She hated this day. 

To the Gods, they had such short lives that nothing mattered. Mortals didn’t matter. He didn’t matter. For as long as he aged and grew, his mother would come to despise him as he would age and die. Slowly, but he would one day die. Demigod or not.

A fact that his birthday amplified. It was why she never acknowledged the day or brought him a gift. None of that mattered all he wanted was to see her, just once. Could she show him that she loved him. Instead of making him feel so unwanted, unloved. Sometimes he wished he could have stayed small in her arms, when it felt like she adored him.

 

“Achilles,” Patroclus cooed to him softly, “don’t cry. I’m here. It’s alright, I’m here.” His skinny arms wrapped around him enveloping him almost like a mother.Achilles didn’t fight it, but let him, breathing in the scent of their soap, sage, and rosemary. A scent that had become home. His home. His Patroclus. Achilles sighed against him, breathing in his scent once more.

 

“Patroclus, can we still go swimming?” he said pulling away. Patroclus tilted his head, making his dark eyes look even more innocent. Before giving him such a beautiful and warm smile. Gods, his heart thumped at it.

“Let’s go !” he said, bouncing up at once. Holding his hand out for him, Achilles took it.

* * *

 

Patroclus had said nothing of his red eyes or even how he had clung to him like a child instead splashed at him.

By sunset, they were exhausted from swimming. Patroclus brought over a basket filled to the brim with ripe blackberries, that they ate until Patroclus had gotten the bright idea to smear blackberries all over his face.

Rolling away from him snickering.

“Patroclus !!” he all but screamed trying and failing to get him back.

 

“I think it suits you,” he called laughing. When Achilles got his hands on him, he was done for.

* * *

 

Patroclus laughed to himself from his hiding spot.

 

“ _I’m happy that I was able to make him smile again_.” Never again did he want to see Achilles like that, so desolate and heartbroken.

 

“Catch me if you can,” Patroclus taunted him as he darted to another tree. It would be a few more moments before Achilles found him and smeared him with berries. If it made him smile then it was worth it.

 

“Aah,” he squeaked when Achilles’arms wrapped around him from behind.

 

“Caught you,” Achilles whispered. Patroclus fought to free himself but in the end he lost.

 

Patroclus sighed as Achilles slugged him over his shoulder like a prized kill. His face heated or like a stolen woman. Gods, now he wanted to be put down, or else he was going to die from the blood rushing to his face.

 

“Aren’t I heavy?” he asked, maybe he would get tired of carrying him.

 

“Nope,” Achilles cheerfully stated. Bringing them closer to their little basket by the riverbank.

 

“Would you put me down if I asked?” he asked again.

 

“Maybe.”

  
“Would you-”

  
“Nope.” Seriously.

 

“Achilles Pelides, put me down.” Achilles laughed and the movement shook him too. Gods, his laugh was so adorable like the chime of bells. Sigh. Patroclus for a moment stopped his struggle to get down.

 

“First time you ever called me by my full name,” Achilles mused when he finally stopped, "but you forgot..."

 

He spun them for a little bit, oh Gods. Patroclus clung to whatever part of him he could.

 

“Prince Achilles put me down,” he shouted, wriggling against him, which only made him squeeze a little tighter.

 

“Nope,” he said drawing out the “p”, oh fine then. Patroclus hated to do this, but he left him with no choice.

 

“Pat-” Achilles started, but it was much too late.

 

“Patr-o-clus st-op,” Achilles gasped in between laughs. While his grip was loosened he trying to make his escape. Still he refused to let go, in the end it ends him and Achilles both on the ground.

Leaving him straddled across him, once again they just stared at each other. Patroclus reached down to brush a curl from Achilles’ red face. One could have hardly guessed he was so ticklish.

His fingers trailed until they rested at his stomach, he was still rather soft. They both were, but that would change soon.

 

Green eyes widened, “Patroclus, don’t please.”

 

Patroclus withdrew his hands, gigging, “I won’t.”

 

Achilles relaxed and he withdrew from him, to curl up at his side. It had been such a long day, but fun.

 

Patroclus was all but drifting off, when he heard Achilles whisper something, “Thanks for today.”

 

He rolled over to grin at him, “You’re my best friend, I would do anything for you.”

 

Achilles smiled at him, and at that perfect moment the dying rays caught his golden hair casting it into a red hue. Patroclus blinked for a few moments, but no it still had some hints of red.

 

“Me too,” Achilles breathed in the space between them. Seeming as if he wanted to say more. Patroclus wanted to say more too, but bit his tongue.

 

An _“I love you_ ,” hung unspoken between them.

* * *

 

Both of them got up early this morning, yesterday had been a break. Today, back to lessons and training. And retrieving Achilles from his various hiding places. They were so like minded at times, it was frightening.

Patroclus plopped down next to Achilles napping in the shade of the tree, it was almost a shame he had to wake him. Well, he didn’t have to do it right at that second, Patroclus leaned over to admire his golden lashes, and his Sun kissed skin. Patroclus resisted the urge to sigh.

His crush on Achilles had not gone away as he had hoped, instead it grew a little day by day.

Everything about him made him blush. The way he smiled, the way he laughed. How the sun hits him just right, illuminating his whole face. Making Patroclus’ breath catch. His gorgeous green eyes, that were as vibrant as the woods around them. How they tilted up in a cat like shape when he was joking and generally up to no good. His mischievous and playful nature. Everything about him made him all the more lovesick. Gods, when would his torment ever end.

Achilles looked so peaceful, he hated so much to wake him. Just a minute longer, then he would do it. They were just working with bows today, let him rest a bit. Achilles was already a one man army. He didn’t need the extra training, he did it so Patroclus wouldn’t be lonely. His prince was so sweet. Patroclus felt heat rise in his cheeks again, oh Gods.

_His prince?_

* * *

 

**Thunk**

Patroclus stared at the target in awe for a moment, never expecting to hit bullseye.

Chiron looked on approvingly, and Achilles grinned at him. Patroclus flushed a little from their attentions, in just a short while his aim had improved.

“Bet, I could split it.”  Patroclus hummed a bit, he could very well if he wanted to.

Achilles took aim and while it didn’t split his, it still had landed in the general vicinity of the tree. He and Chiron exchanged a glance. 

“ _Did he just miss?,” their eyes questioned._

Achilles’ face was flushed, he didn’t know if it was from the heat or his embarrassment.

“Try again, Achilles, this time loosen your grip as you release it,” Chiron said softly correcting his stance.

He nodded and with more patience Achilles aimed again. This time it landed true. Still nowhere near his own and not even splitting it, but closer. It hit the tree this time.

Achilles growled in frustration.  

“Dammit,” he swore, hand bending his bow a little.  Achilles had the skill but none of the patience. It wasn’t like a javelin. Wait a moment.

“Achilles, try a spear instead,” Patroclus offered gesturing to neat stack at his ankle. Achilles shrugged but went with his suggestion and picked one up.

It hit the target with all the subtlety of a herd of cattle, but it had split his arrow and the tree in half.

So, Patroclus chalked up the first two attempts to Achilles’ patience not his aim.

Chiron peered at the wreckage and tired not to sigh, well at least they had firewood for the winter. Achilles Pelides was truly destined to be great just not by destroying his forest. 

Achilles stared at his target and looked to him for approval. Patroclus smiled at him.

“Third time’s the charm,” he teased lightly.

“How about we practice on moving targets next?” Patroclus asked pulling his quiver onto his back. Achilles smirked at him.

“You’re on.”

Chiron just sighed, this pupils would have many different types of meat ready to be dried for the winter. It was so thoughtful of them to prepare ahead. Or not.

“Teacher, watch out!” Chiron ducked out of the way at just the right moment. A wayward arrow found itself embedded in the tree behind him.

A “sorry Master Chiron,” echoed from somewhere, he couldn’t decipher where it was coming from, but he had an idea. Chiron shook his head, it was time he left them to their games. For the sanctity of his health.

* * *

Patroclus cheekily smirked at him, holding up that his bundle of hares. Achilles peeked 

at his single capture behind him. Of a deer. 

Patroclus ahed at it, " Beautiful." Achilles felt himself smile at his praise. And perhaps he preened a bit. 

"While I'm not the best shot, I'm the best tracker."  Patroclus snickered a little.

"You're a good shot, you just need patience, Achilles," he said, pointing to his deer, "That is proof of your shot."

"One could say the same for you. So many in such a short time," he said gesturing to his hares.

Patroclus shrugged, " It was lucky."

"Hares are so quick it's more luck than that you caught so many. I would say you are blessed or favored by Artemis. "

Patroclus' cheeks reddened a bit, "It was nothing." Achilles loved watching him blush. Even at something small like a complement.

"It wasn't nothing. I promise, that was amazing." He turned a little redder. Gods, he was so innocent, so sweet. If only he hadn’t been such a coward, Patroclus would know.

"Are you ready to head back, yet?" Patroclus called to him breaking him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, we can. Maybe after skinning this, we can go swimming."

Patroclus nodded.

* * *

 

Summer had come and with it, his feelings for Patroclus had only grown stronger. Until he could no longer control his actions. His tongue failed him at the most important times. Patroclus never seemed to mind, smiling and going off on their adventures. How he wished they could last forever. That he could preserve this perfect summer, so it would always be in his mind.

 

" Achilles," he called. How he loved the way he said his name. It was never in awe but as an equal. And that in itself made him feel warm.

 

"Achilles, let's go. I saw a hare this way. Come on. We're going to lose it."

 

A ray of Apollo's hit him just right. Forming a halo around his curls. In the greenery of the clearing he looked divine. Holy. Sacred. Gods his breath caught. Oh Gods.

 

"Achilles," he laughs, “come on or I'm going to catch it"

 

Achilles watched him for a moment, before following after him.

 

 _"I like him_ ," Achilles thought.

 

_"No, I love this boy. I think I always have. And I think I always will."_

 

* * *

 

Patroclus sighed and Achilles peeked at him. Wondering what he was thinking about. Maybe it’s the math, Chiron had them doing. He made another face at his scroll. So boring. He would much rather be outside, actually he had an idea.

 

“Pssh, Patroclus,” he whispered. Patroclus was too engrossed in his work, his tongue peeking out from lips. Working to finish his set.

 

Gods, that was cute. Achilles tried again by throwing his stylus at him and this time Patroclus gave him his full attention.He had to refrain from grinning, he just loved having his eyes on him.

 

“What?” he muttered annoyed. The stylus had gotten stuck in his hair.Oops.

 

“Let’s go outside, I’m bored.”

 

Patroclus glanced around briefly looking for Chiron before sighing.

 

“Alright just a quick break, but we come right back. Okay?”

 

This time he really did grin, “Come on.”

 

 

Patroclus took his hand. Gods, Achilles couldn’t stop the joy that rushed through him.

* * *

 

What should have been a short break turned into an afternoon of frockling off in the woods. At first he was anxious, but the more time they spent together the more he forgot about their work and Chiron.

Patroclus would admit it was nice to be doing this instead of lessons. Eating honey and berries, just soaking up the Sun. He frowned at the thought of more freckles appearing.

 

“Oh,” he muttered when some of the honey dripped from the comb onto his neck. Achilles watched the amber liquid flood from his chin down his neck, until he just couldn’t stand it anymore.

 

What in Hades was possessing him to lean over and run his tongue on his neck? Patroclus shivered, but hadn’t moved, obediently sitting through him licking him.

Awareness came back to him, and he tried to find the words to apologize. They died in his throat when he saw Patroclus. How his freckles stood out in full force against his dark blush.

Gods, he was lovely. Never before had he wanted to kiss him more than in this moment. Achilles could never apologize for doing that, because he didn’t regret it. Slightly they had moved closer, each breath drawing them ever closer. Patroclus leaned slightly and closed his eyes.

 

“Achilles, Patroclus,” Chiron’s call broke them apart quickly. Patroclus' face was still close, but then he drew back. No, no.

 

Curse all the Gods. He had been so close, they had been so close.

* * *

 

Surprisingly they hadn’t gotten in much trouble, instead Chiron had given them more problems.

 

“Oh, Gods,” Achilles moaned across from him. Patroclus hid a smile, he had thought he had escaped only to have more added to it.

Miserably Achilles cast pleading eyes towards him, he shook his head. Achilles had gotten him in enough trouble.

 

“Patroclus, please.”

  
“No.” Achilles pouted again. Mean.

  
Achilles could do them if he only took his time. Patroclus had the utter most faith in him, he just was for a lack of better words lazy.

 

“Please,” Achilles uttered looking all the more pitiful. He had to bite his lips as not to laugh, poor thing.

 

“No, Achilles, if I do it for you. You learn nothing,” he said, but rising to sit next to him, “but I’ll help you to understand it.” Achilles counted that as a win.

 

Patroclus minorly regretted his decision when he felt how their thighs pressed against each other. He flushed instantly as this afternoon’s event wasn’t completely forgotten. Achilles saw how he blushed, good he hadn’t forgotten.

They worked in a comfortable silence until it became clear Achilles’ attention had shifted, what he lacked was patience. He hated to sit still, in one place. Preferring to run as he pleased, his wild and restless prince.

“Achilles, are you paying attention?”

 

“Uh-huh.” That got him a very frustrated huff.

 

He was just not to the lesson, his eyes trailed Patroclus’ wrists instead, how slim and dainty they were. Watching the way his hand moved across the paper.

“ _You’re so lovely_ ,” Achilles thought, “ _so lovely_.” Nearly sighing at the thought.

* * *

  
That same tension still hung between them, both of them tried to ignore it in favor of preserving their friendship. Trying to ease it with jokes, general mischief, and rough housing. It was becoming harder and harder not to just admit what they both felt. Their anatomy lessons are what really added fuel to the fire. Chiron had them using each other as practice in memorizing the ins and out of the human body. As their first step to preparing for learning the art of healing.

 

* * *

 

Achilles didn’t seem bothered when his fingers mapped out muscles or parts that they needed to study. Laughing slightly when his fingers passed his ticklish middle. Besides that his face gave nothing away, while Patroclus’ own was on fire. It was about three thousand times worse when it was Achilles’ turn, he could hardly hold still.

 

“Patroclus, hold still, I’m almost done,” Achilles teased when he kept moving away from him.

 

To the point, he had all but pulled him into his lap.

 

* * *

 

Patroclus was still so shy in some ways around him. Judging by his pretty blushes and smiles, so innocent. Innocence he thought to ruin, Achilles wasn’t naive as to how things could grow between them. How things worked between men, between lovers. Their lessons were proof of that. How it seemed as if it gave them the perfect opportunity to be a little more honest with their inner thoughts. Achilles could have spent days, no years committing every part of Patroclus to memory.

 

The way his dark lashes rimmed his brown eyes making him even more innocent, his stunning cheekbones that were splattered with freckles like the stars, red lips that had the most perfect kissable shape. The siren’s call of temptation, to kiss him until they were even more red and swollen, leaving him breathless. Achilles lightly changed his focus from Patroclus’ face to his long, lithe neck, Gods. The marks he wanted to leave here.

 

Trailing down his shoulders, made his way down his arms, memorizing way the muscles tensed under his fingertips, and all the little marks he found on the way. Until his hands came to rest at Patroclus’ slim and dainty wrists that he studied for tendons and muscles. The perfect way they led into his palm, to his long and elegant fingers. Achilles often thought Patroclus would make a lovely lyre player, his fingers were the perfect shape for plucking the strings. He loved watching them curl around his stylus or working with herbs. Patroclus made everything looks so simple, in his gentle way

“I’m almost done, hold still a moment longer,” Achilles whispered almost reverently. He was greedy, Gods he knew that but he couldn’t help it. Patroclus simply sighed letting him continue.

* * *

 

Their anatomy lessons were getting too intimate, making things so exposed and heated between them. Leaving him so embarrassed, Patroclus thought he was going to die. Achilles on the other hand hadn’t taken it seriously as usual, instead sending him silly faces and rude gestures when Chiron turned his back. Patroclus had to stifle his giggles as coughs. Stil it had been traumatic, for him anyway. 

 

Hera, and he could imagine his private one for carriers would be worse, much worse. Patroclus wanted to cover his ears and not think about all of the extra things, he would have to deal with in addition to going through puberty. 

 

Everything already felt so weird, his emotions were weird, his body was strange and foreign. Nothing felt right. How tall and gangly his limbs had become, the awkwardness came with them,  how ... his menses left him a mess, both physically and emotionally. Snapping at Achilles for the smallest and stupidest things. Achilles always apologized first, even if he hadn’t been the one at fault.

 

He felt awful just thinking about how nasty he could be towards him, but couldn’t bring himself to tell him the reason. Why he was always getting sick one week out of the month. Why he declined running, or wrestling with him on certain days. All because he was afraid of him seeing the blood. Maybe one day, but not now.

 

As his feelings for him were strong, and grew everyday. He loves him, had fallen for him the very day Achilles claimed him as his therapon. Patroclus knew that he would always be his. Would love him and serve him until the end of his days. Even if Achilles never return those feelings.

Which is why he all but ran away from him after lessons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My, my~ things are heating up.


	5. Energy

Their afternoon lessons had left him incredibly shaken and aroused to the point that if Achilles’ had continued, the broad strokes of his callous fingers tracing his skin had been more than he could bear. Patroclus let his fingers trail downwards, resting just at the junction of his thighs. “Ha,” he panted, wrapping a hand around himself. He wanted to hate himself for what he was doing, but this wasn’t the first time he had done this thinking about him.

Achilles was honestly becoming an even worse tease. It was if he did these things intentionally. Licking honey off his neck, letting his touches linger, resting his face in the crux of his neck, nipping at him mockingly. Gods, sleeping with him was all that was on his mind lately. And being on his bleeding wasn’t helping, if anything it only made things worse. Making him want and imagine things that he shouldn’t. Taking today for example, Patroclus’ heart had been moments from bursting from his chest. Achilles seemed to enjoy making him squirm, teasing him into sitting still. When all he wanted was for Achilles to take him right there on his desk, and he couldn’t describe it but could have sworn to have seen a dark look pass Achilles’ eyes. Almost as he if the same though passed his mind. Gods.

Patroclus groaned a little feeling heat build in his pelvis, he was close. So close. He thought they had silently agreed to not acknowledge what was happening between them, it was only hormones. Their foster brothers had found release with those poor serving girls around the palace here it was only the two of them. So it was to be expected that they were beginning to show misguided affection towards each other, but Achilles had made it clear that he wasn't interested in him like that. In ruining their friendship. Finished Patroclus slid his hand through the grass, as if it would cleanse him of his guilt.

What should have felt amazing left him racked with guilt and feeling gross. Well, grosser than blood streaming down his legs. Laying there a moment, just enjoying the blue sky above him. Before he wrinkled his nose, oh gross. He hated the feeling of it drying, it was just unpleasant.

* * *

 

The water was blissful, washing away all of the day’s grime and his guilt. Patroclus simply floated letting the current take him where it wished. He was in no danger as he was a strong swimmer, and when he grew tired of that, made his way back to the bank where his clothes waited. He should wash and dry them while he was here, it would save him work later. Achilles had gone to see his mother, Chiron was drying herbs. He could let himself and his clothes dry in the sun. Which he did.

Patroclus cringed a little as his cramps had decided to make themselves known again. Curling inwards, Gods, it hurt.

* * *

 

 

Achilles was tired after his lesson with his mother. His head hurt, and all he wanted was to lie down. Which he almost did before realized that he hadn’t seen Patroclus since afternoon lessons. In a flash he shot up to search for him. Chiron hadn’t seen him since lessons then it was nearly sunset and their teacher forbid them from staying out too late. Not that the woods frightened him, it was just dangerous for Patroclus as he had been hurt before. Achilles sighed again, so far he had checked the meadows, nothing. Patroclus’ favorite clearing, their cliff, still nothing. Then stopped, wait the river.Panic thrummed through him, what if he had gotten caught in a current?

Oh Zeus, it had been hours since he had last seen him. Any terrible thing could have happened to him.

Achilles ran all the way there only to relax, seeing Patroclus asleep in the grass. Before his face reddened, he had fallen asleep completely bare. Leaving his body exposed, and as far as he could see Patroclus had gained a few more freckles from sleeping in the sun. They had seen each other undressed before, but things were different now. His feelings for him no longer felt platonic. And… if he.. if they crossed that line, they could never go back to what they were. Patroclus shifted in his sleep, Achilles’ eyes trailed slightly, before remembering himself. Shaking himself for that thought, knelt to wake him up.

“Patroclus, wake up,” he whispered shaking him again lightly, and soon Patroclus’ soft brown eyes sleepily met his. “Achilles?,” he asked yawning stretching his limbs. Achilles had to slightly turn his head.

“Yeah?” Patroclus stood stretching again, this time bending at his waist. For the Gods’ sakes.

“I didn’t expect to see you until later.” Patroclus yawned again, this time his arms reached to pull on his tunic. Praise the Gods, finally. His heart couldn’t take it anymore. “It’s later, almost sunset.” “Oh,” Patroclus bit his lip, “ I didn’t realize. Nevermind then.”

“Lazy, you slept most of the afternoon,” he teased. Patroclus pouted at him.

“I didn’t intend to, it just happened.”

Achilles snickered. “ I know you didn’t.” Patroclus hadn’t noticed that he had left behind something… in plain sight no less.

* * *

 

Pale fingers held the cloth up to the light in interest. Dark eyes narrowed. That wouldn’t do, not at all. Of all the things, she had never expected this. Patroclus was a carrier, capable of bearing her son a child. Though judging from the cloth, he was bleeding so nothing had come from their little affair. Yet. And she planned to keep it that way. Achilles could have Patroclus for now, but the moment his belly showed any hint of a child. That whore was to be done away with. She had sacrificed too much for Achilles to throw it all away. He was going to be a God, they had promised her as much. Whether it was what Achilles wanted, that was his fate. If she was going to lose him she rather they remember him for it. He could be with her for all eternity. Her precious boy.

* * *

 

Patroclus suddenly gasped on the way back to the cave, startling him.

“What?” Had he forgotten something at the river bank?

Patroclus seemed flustered. “Ah, sorry. I forgot I had to do something for teacher. I just hope he won’t be upset,” he lied. Damn it to Hades.

Achilles lightly bumped his hip into his. Patroclus hid a wince, this was literally the worst time to rough house with him. “You’ll be fine, master isn’t strict on us at all. And I doubt he would scold you, you’re his favorite afterall.” Achilles said, walking a bit in front of him, “ I’m too naughty.” Patroclus laughed a little, he felt bad for lying but he couldn’t just come out and say that he had left his bleeding cloth at the river.

He had been even luckier that Achilles hadn’t noticed it all. But they had to get home quickly, preferably before he was dripping down his legs.

“You’re right.” “Of course, I am.” “I’m his favorite,” he quipped, laughing. Running a bit ahead, sticking his tongue at him. He really needed to hurry.

“Hey, no fair,” while he pretended to pout, he enjoyed Patroclus’ sweet laugh.

“Then start behaving, you’re too wild at times.” Patroclus teased looking back.

“I enjoy being wild, and it’s fun to drag you along corrupting you.” Achilles pulled him back by his wrist. Patroclus laughed again. They just stood there like that, Patroclus’ wrist cradled in his fingers Patroclus leaned against him, so close.

“Behave, my Achilles,” he whispered, breath fanning at his ear. Achilles stunned, let go of him almost immediately. Red licked at his cheeks once more. Patroclus hadn't even noticed that he claimed him, Gods did he want to be his. All his.

* * *

 

Patroclus disappeared after dinner and didn’t reappear until it was nearly time for bed. However when Patroclus settled next to him, it felt like relief. As if he could finally sleep now that he was safe. Drawing him nearer until he was at his chest, Patroclus sighed slightly, but didn’t wake. Achilles lightly rested his fingers at his temple, lessons with his mother today had left him drained not just physically but mentally. She was showing him how to tap into his divine powers. It was tiring, he would just rather not. That and he was afraid if he started using them, he would become more like them.

The thought of taking another’s freewill felt repulsive. While he had promised his mother that he would practice, he intended never to use it. Patroclus shifted away from him, beads of sweat glistening in the low light of their room. Achilles let him go, it was too hot to pull him close, still it was nice to have him near.

* * *

 

Lying in the shade with Achilles’ fingers lightly running through his hair, made him sleepy. He yawned a little, curling up further into his lap. Achilles himself was dozing off against the tree. “Achilles,” he called almost hating to wake him, as he still seemed tired from his lessons with his mother.

“Hm,” was all he uttered. The complete and utter laziness of the summer heat taking over.

“It has been almost two years since we came here,” Patroclus stated, as the heat carried his words up.

Achilles hummed again. “Has it? I haven’t even noticed.” That was both the truth and a lie, while he hadn’t noticed time slipping away, but had noticed as Patroclus grew increasingly comely. Like a dancer, lithe and tall, coming up to his chin as opposed to his chest. However that was to be expected as he had divine blood, Achilles would always be taller than him. Patroclus looked up at him, and in the shade of the tree his eyes seemed even darker.

“Why?” Did Patroclus not like being here with him anymore? Was he bored? “No reason, I was merely wondering your thoughts on the matter, because to me it feels as if I could be here forever. And that time doesn’t have a construct at least not here.”

“Oh,” he said resuming his favorite pastime, playing with Patroclus’ curls. They were so glossy and formed the most perfect ringlets that he just couldn’t help himself. Achilles even had a favorite that always sprang back when he undid it. Patroclus never seemed to mind him playing with them, except when he went to braid them, afraid of it tangling. He resisted the urge to sigh when he saw that Patroclus was again falling asleep in his lap. Gods, he was precious.

“Do you miss home?” Patroclus’ voice startled him for a moment, before he recovered. Achilles had to think for a moment. If he wanted to see his father, he could, and his mother came to pester him almost daily. So, everything was fine, more than fine. He had Patroclus all to himself.

“Not really, no. I like it here,” _with you._

Patroclus sighed against his thigh, “ So do I.” Achilles wondered if a small part of him did miss his home, his mother in particular. From how Patroclus had spoken, his mother had seemed to be the only good thing he could remember about it. Her melodies and love, that Patroclus seemed to radiate. Achilles brushed his dark curls from his forehead, silently thanking Patroclus’ mother for the gift of her son.

“ _I promise to always look after him. I love him more than anything in this world.”_

* * *

 

Patroclus turned fifteen right as summer began to end. While the woods were just as vibrant as ever, the sense that summer was dying was in the air. To celebrate Achilles wrote and played a song just for him that had him nearly in tears. And of course he had to tease him just a little bit, “It’s your birthday don’t cry. It’s a happy day.” Chiron had made him a beautifully carved bow with a supple leather quiver. Patroclus had thanked them both with a shy smile on his lips. Achilles could have just kissed him right there.

Patroclus’ flush had deepened during dinner because Achilles kept piling more and more meat onto his plate. “It’s your birthday, so..” Gods, Patroclus’ blush was so furious that not even his skin could hide it. Achilles felt himself smile a little at it, and that wasn’t all.

Earlier that morning he and Chiron had picked some ripe, red apples. Patroclus’ eyes widened at the sight of the apples, Achilles placed the bowl in front of him. He was to have first pick. His hand reached out for one, but paused.

“Do you not like them?” Patroclus shook his head softly.

“They are almost too beautiful to eat.” Achilles smirked a little.

“That’s a shame as that is their main purpose,” he teased pulling one out and holding it out to him.

“Here.” Patroclus’ own warm fingers covered his own, as it was passed over. Achilles watched him take a bite of his, before grabbing and biting into his own. Patroclus' dark eyes caught his own, grinning around his apple. Cheeks matching the fruit.

"Guess that means we're engaged now," Achilles joked. Patroclus nearly choked on his piece. Right, a boy presents an apple to the one he wishes to marry. "Achilles, is there any end to how seriously you take things. Gods above," he thought with a roll of his eyes.

"I suppose it would," he teased back. Achilles now found himself at a loss for words. Was he saying yes to him? Maybe. However he wouldn't know as Chiron began shuffling them off to bed.

* * *

 

"Achilles," Patroclus whispered to him, "are you still awake?" Achilles rolled over to face him, but all he saw was his vague shape in the darkness.

"I'm still up. Why can't sleep?" "No, I just wanted to thank you for today."

Achilles' heart sped up, "You don't have to do that. I just wanted to make your birthday special," _the day the Gods formed you just for me_. Patroclus said," Thank you,” before Achilles felt a warm press of lips against his cheek.

"Always," he muttered, letting the feeling linger, _“for you._ ”

* * *

 

The two of them tried to enjoy what was left of summer as Chiron warned them about how cold and long this next winter would be. He said was the cause of an overly long and hot summer. Which is why today they were both trying to hunt, dry, and store as much meat for the winter as possible. Patroclus was breathtaking firing off arrow after arrow as if possessed by the Goddess Artemis herself. Each hit was a swift kill, a kindness.

All of Patroclus’ actions were always thoughtful, everything he did was with the thought of others’ well-being in mind. No matter whom or what it is. Achilles watched him a moment longer before slinging his capture over his shoulders. It was only midafternoon, they had some time before they had to go back for lessons.

“Hey Patroclus want to go swimming!” he shouted, breaking into a jog to catch up to him. His shoulders were sticky with blood and he wondered if it was causing the same discomfort for Patroclus.

Patroclus turned to face him, but shook his head. “Not today, perhaps tomorrow?,” he offered in his gentle way.

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: Patroclus is a Cancer and Achilles is a Gemini. Fight me.
> 
> I thinking about starting a anonymous TSOA confession on Tumblr. What do y'all think?


	6. Orion's Belt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Le sigh it has been 8,000 years since I last updated. Sorry guys, but shit has been cray lately. Like writer's block has been a bitch and everything just don't want to flow like omg work.  
> Anyway let me stop ranting so y'all can enjoy. :)
> 
> Chapter title: Orion's Belt- Sabrina Claudio

Winter came just as Chiron said, with the first snow falling just after the leaves began to fall. 

Their sparring was now confined to the opening of the cave, and when they craved some adventure, ventured out to fish in the icy river. Achilles always kept Patroclus close to him fearing a repeat of their first winter.

However Patroclus was ever curious often venturing off to wonder at the pure snow and bare trees with icicles hanging down. Which vexed Achilles to no end, any of the sharp pieces of ice could fall hurting him. Patroclus laughed off his concerns and continued to do as he pleased. And some people liked to call him stubborn. Ha.

“Achilles, I’ll be fine stop worrying,”Patroclus called to him, “See.”

All he could see was Patroclus jumping up to knock one of the icicles down. Horrified he ran to  stop him, but it was too late. Patroclus simply picked it up and brought it over to him.

“See I’m fine and it’s not even sharp,” he held out the end for him to touch. Achilles frowned, it was sharp enough.

“You’re stubborn, you know that right?,” he sighed, going back to his fishing line. 

Patroclus snickered, “ Just a little more than you.” 

Achilles snorted.

" I've seen few as stubborn as you."

Patroclus only hummed, turning away on his heels, “Perhaps.” 

He shook his head pulling up his catch.

* * *

 

Their room was as warm as possible with furs and fire going around them. Still Patroclus felt a chill, the blizzard that had long trapped them inside, wailed even louder. Scooting closer to steal some of Achilles’ heat. His friend seemed to run as hot as a fire at times, perhaps from all the divine blood that ran in his veins. Either way he was thankful for it. 

Achilles said nothing when Patroclus drew himself into his side, only feeling his cheeks reddening. While this winter had been downright vicious, it had one redeeming quality bringing Patroclus even closer to him.  

The winds howled even louder from the entrance and in his sleep Patroclus scrunched up further to his chest as if seeking his protection. Protection which he would always give, Gods help him. He was in deep so deep, and knew that sooner or later he was going to have to tell Patroclus. Achilles just hoped that he could find it in his heart to forgive him, and perhaps accept his confession.

* * *

 

When Spring came again, Achilles was both thankful and resentful. Thankful because Patroclus looked absolutely lovely in the soft rays of sunshine. Resentful because he no longer had an excuse to keep him bundled in his arms. 

Sparring resumed as both of them were eager to stretch their stiff muscles after spending much of the winter indoors. 

Chiron watched over them for a moment before letting them be, he seemed more at ease leaving Patroclus alone with him. Though time after time, Achilles promised to remember his strength.

Not that he even had to worry Patroclus had a few- no several dirty tricks up his sleeves and was getting much faster at catching him off guard. 

“You’re getting so much easier to read, it’s almost as if you’re letting me win,” Patroclus teased, settling himself more comfortable on his stomach. Oh, no he didn’t.

“I’m not. We’re just getting started,” and on that note used his weight to flip them. 

* * *

 

“Oof,” Patroclus panted out looking up at him. Achilles’ blond hair hung loose forming almost a veil over them, with his summery green eyes holding him captive. His heart raced a little faster, Gods did he so badly want to reach up and run his fingers through the strands before kissing him. Instead he hit Achilles’ ankle throwing him off balance and switched them again. 

“Hey!” This time putting more of his weight on him, which was a struggle as Achilles continually bucked upwards to free himself. Patroclus hid a gasp this was too much. Gods, but he wasn’t going to give up that easily.

In the end it all been for nothing, he let Achilles pin him to save himself the embarrassment of showing his arousal. Even that had been a lost cause, to hide flushed cheeks and suddenly slippery thighs. He sweetly asked Achilles if he wanted to swim.

Which he cheerfully agreed to.

* * *

 

There were no mirrors on Mt. Pelton to show him his newfound growth, but he could feel the new weight if his body as his limbs adjusted to it. The only way Patroclus could measure his changes was against Achilles, with his sharpening face, broad shoulders, and comfortable swagger. He probably didn't feel awkward or ashamed of his body, and why would he as he was devastatingly handsome.

Patroclus sighed to himself pulling his knees up to his chest as he admired Achilles. His tan back dripping with water, while the Apollo's rays cast a halo around his golden head. Letting his eyes linger a little more before turning away, it was a good thing he had because at that moment Achilles started to get out. Pressing his damp skin right next to his. Patroclus lightly shoved him away, he had just dried off. 

"You're wet."

Achilles grinned," So are you."

"But I just starting to dry off," he whined.

"Hmm, whatever," Achilles muttered, flopping onto his back stretching himself out unashamed. While Patroclus pressed himself more inwards. 

Gods, he had gotten so shy lately, what happened to the Patroclus who stripped with no shame. There was no need to feel shy, especially around him. 

Achilles glanced up at him, " You're never going to dry if you keep yourself all scrunched up."

" I suppose not," he said, letting his legs stretched out more.

Achilles rolled onto his side, he commented " You seem taller."

Patroclus replied, his lashes fluttering against his cheeks, "And you seemed older." Achilles rolled his eyes.

"Of course, I'm a few months older than you."

Patroclus shook his head that wasn't what he meant, " No, you look more mature. Your face is sharper…," he trailed off awkwardly. 

Oh.

Achilles felt a heat take his cheeks, Patroclus was noticing him too. 

"Oh," he wanted to press him for more of what he thought of him, when Patroclus posed his own question.

" Have I changed any?" His knees were held looser almost as if he was using them to shield himself. Gods, if he only knew how lovely he had become.

Achilles smiled sitting up fully, fingers capturing his jaw. 

" This is sharper and wider," Achilles said, dragging them to rest at his lips. Petal soft against his thumb just as he imagined. His fingers continuing to brush down his throat, where a new bulb rested. Achilles’ eyes were so intense as if he was reading right into his soul. Such a thought left him...breathless.

“Stand up,” Achilles ordered softly. Patroclus did, and the tracing of fingers continued, except they turned into hands. It was taking all of his strength not to run away from him and his touches.

No not touches, caresses just like in their anatomy lessons. Every touch was gentle and left him wanting more, more that neither of them were ready to give.

Achilles reached for his hand and brought it down his collarbone across the width of his shoulders, “You’re wider here,” he breathed.

Swallowing a lump Patroclus asked, “Where else?” Achilles tilted his head and at that moment the sun caught his green eyes revealing flecks of gold. Patroclus flushed, regretting to have asked. 

His hands traveled to his navel, over the dark hair that had appeared there. Patroclus shivered, his hands were warm with each trace of his calloused fingers making his skin pimple with goosebumps.

"And here too." Achilles breathed with a teasing lit. Only things felt way beyond mere joking.

More sharply than he would have liked told him, "You can stop now. I get the idea."

Achilles frowned briefly, but respectfully withdrew. Patroclus’ cheeks were absolutely on fire.  After that they sat in a comfortable silence, with the sound of the water across the rocks. Achilles swam some more before finally stretching out lazily in the Sun. 

“You know,” his voice was barely above a whisper over the trickling of water,” I think you would not be displeased by how you look.” Patroclus ducked his head to hide a smile. Gods, Achilles was going to be the death of him.

* * *

 

> “Ah~ fuck- Achilles~,” Patroclus cried out. Nails digging even more into his back, trying to draw him even closer. Achilles wasn’t sure how much closer, he could be drawn him. They were as close as one could possibly be. The sound of skin meeting was obscene, and nothing was as delectable as his lover’s face screwed up in pleasure. Nor could anything ever compete again.
> 
>  

Achilles woke up in a sweat right at the moment, Patroclus’ red lips parted. Curse all the gods above. His skin was slick with sweat and everything itched for all the wrong reasons. Patroclus still breathed deeply against his chest unaware of his lustful desires. He hated himself for this, hated that wasn’t the first time nor would it be the last.

 

He huffed quietly, willing his blood to cool. Good Zeus the positions he imagined him in, all with that sinful smirk on his red lips. Patroclus would never do such things in real life, he was sweet, innocent. Blushing when he merely kissed him on the cheek. Nothing like the siren from his dreams. The things he did with his mouth. Gods. 

 

_ “Stop it, Patroclus was too pure to think or do such things,”  _ he scolded mentally.

 

Patroclus cuddled further into his chest, and Achilles wanted to disappear. Patroclus had one of legs over his anymore movement and surely he would discovered his problem. Sighing softly in his sleep, so pleased that he had found a comfortable position. Patroclus had no idea of his effect on him, that he was only making his problem worse. Achilles resisted the urge to groan, curse the Gods above. Gently he tried to move him off of him, out of respect for him. Which only served to wake him up. Patroclus’ soft brown eyes meet his hazily. 

 

“Good morning,” he muttered to him, before cuddling back at his chest. Moving slightly before he froze. Achilles’ breath caught, surely he would hate him. Instead, of curses Patroclus moved his hand down, engulfing him completely. Achilles groaned.

 

Dark eyes peered up at him innocently, while his hand pumped him up and down. There was nothing innocent about this, in fact they were in very dangerous territory.

“Does it feel good?,” Patroclus panted, his hand never stopping for a moment. Gods, even he was affected. 

“Yes,” he grit out, trying to get even more friction. The warm hand removed itself, he whined a little. Another warmth replaced it, Patroclus straddling him. So this was another fantasy of his, but it seem so real it . Patroclus seemed so shy and unsure, yet so determined. It only served to make him want to ruin him more.

Patroclus writhed a bit against him, until his hands caught his waist. Holding him in place, he lightly moved upward. At first he seemed startled, but soon enough they fell into a rhythm. Gods, above this was amazing. 

Each one of his thrusts into his thighs made him arc his back even more. He was so close, Achilles could tell by the way his lips parted. Surely this had to be another dream, but it felt so real, and Gods. 

A moan broke from Patroclus’ ruby lips loud enough to nearly draw Chiron’s attention. Chocolate eyes met his in part embarrassment and the haze of pleasure. Achilles recaptured his lips and Patroclus took this opportunity to find better purchase at his shoulders arms drawing them even closer. Gods, his heart was beating out of control.

 

They came. Him first and Patroclus soon after. For a moment they simply fought to regain their breaths. For the second time he woke up, this time for real. Achilles sucked in a breath trying to calm down. Curse all of the Gods, it had felt so real. Hades, it had even sounded real.

Patroclus tried to cling to him in his sleep, but this time Achilles all but yanked himself away, inch by inch. The relief he felt was immediate, well if not for…

Fuck.

* * *

 

Patroclus wondered what in Hades was Achilles’ problem this morning, he seemed on edge. He tried to think what could have set him off, but nothing in particular stood out in his memory. Whatever it was Achilles would either tell him or he would ask him later. 

 

He had been wrong. Achilles was still in his strange mood when their break arrived, wandering off leaving him on his own. It was strange as they were always together but supposed that at times they needed time apart.

Good Gods, he felt too guilty to face Patroclus. How could he, Achilles held his head this was insanity. Pure insanity. He knew he loved him that was a fact he couldn’t deny anymore, but he was just so damn cowardly. The only question was, did Patroclus like him back? Achilles honestly had no idea anymore. There had been so many close calls between them.

He thought he was showing his affection subtly, but instead it felt as if it was just leaking out of him. One wrong move and Patroclus wouldn’t take his confession seriously. Gods, maybe he already had the wrong idea.  

Patroclus was so lovely no he was more than lovely, he was absolutely beautiful. But he wanted more than just that he wanted his heart, for it to belong to him completely. In return he would give him his own. Achilles would give him anything if he simply asked. 

* * *

 

Achilles was still behaving somewhat strange the next few days. Patroclus dare not say it, but it felt almost as if he was courting him? What was a silly thought, why would he need to court him?

It had started small with Achilles taking him to explore places of the mountains neither of them had been to, places Chiron had forbidden them. Patroclus had voiced some concern about disobeying Chiron and his warnings, but Achilles brush them away.

 

“I’ll protect you always, I swear it.” Those words made Patroclus’ heart beat a little faster and his breathing catch, they almost sounded like a - dare he hope a confession. No, Achilles meant that platonically nothing like that despite what his actions said.

 

“Achilles, I can take care of myself.” Achilles met his words with a soft smile one that said, “ _ I know you can, but I want to so let me.” _

 

Hera above this was madness, he was reading way too much into both Achilles’ words and actions. Of course he would protect him as his friend, and Patroclus would do the same.

Then he came bearing gifts, flower crowns, an apple, a plum, a basket of berries here and there.  

 

But what truly made his heart stop were the moments were Achilles would pull out the lyre and play for him, just for him. Or he felt as if it was for him. While his fingers lightly plucked at the strings, his emerald eyes never left his. When the last few notes rang out Patroclus gently rubbed at his eyes while Achilles grinned.

“Well, what did you think?”

He couldn’t hide his feelings if he tried his tears spoke for themselves, “Beautiful, it was beautiful. Everything you play is.” Achilles’ soft grin remained, and there was a look that he so desperately wanted to mean something.

“I should hope so, I wrote it for you.” Blood immediately rushes to his cheeks, Patroclus hoped his skin would conceal it.

If Achilles spotted his red cheeks, he said nothing. The air around them felt charged Achilles seemed to get closer and closer to the point Patroclus saw the spattering of freckles across his nose.

His perfect lips- no he wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. 

Patroclus jerked away from him slightly,“We should head back, it’s getting late.” Achilles blinked looking confused but after a moment nodded.

“We should.”

* * *

 

Achilles swallowed down his complete and utter heartbreak. Gods, what had gone wrong it should have been perfect, Patroclus had been so close only to jerk away. What had he done wrong this time, maybe he had been too forward? Made him feel rushed? Or maybe he should stop waiting for Patroclus to initiate the kiss.

“Achilles?” Patroclus called already ready to go back down to home.

“I'm sorry, I was lost in thought…” he babbled, curses not again. Now was not the time to get all tongue tied and stupid.

Patroclus ever patient waited for him to collect himself.

“This is why we should head back, you seem tired,” Patroclus mused taking the lyre from him. When he was on his feet, Patroclus held it still.

“Are your lessons with your mother making you tired?” Achilles stilled for a moment. They were but it was nothing he couldn’t handle.

“Y-no I’m fine really.” Patroclus fixed him with a look that showed he didn’t believe him but let it go. This is why he loved him, Patroclus never pushed him to say more than he had too. He could tell him when he was ready, but he was ready now. Patroclus needed to know how he felt.

“Achilles,” Patroclus called to him again, not again he spaced out again. Achilles drew himself from his thoughts and caught up to him.

“Achilles,” he chided gently, taking his hand, “you can tell her that while you have her blood. You are mortal too, you need to rest at times.” Achilles would be lying it he didn’t enjoy being coddled in Patroclus’ kindness. How it seemed as if while his mother pushed for godhood, Patroclus would accept him no matter what.

“I will, I promise.” Patroclus’ smile was all he needed to distract himself from yet another failure of confession.

“Please.”

* * *

 

Yet another year, was added to her son’s short and pitiful mortal existence. Thetis curled her fingers around his gift, yet another she would never give him. Why did she do this every year if she knew the outcome already. She couldn’t, because to acknowledge the day she borne him would be…

Thetis gripped the necklace of seashells and pearls, until they clattered to the floor. The remaining pearls crushed until they were nothing but a fine powder. They were rare to mortals, but she would give him an even grander gift. Immortality, then nothing could ever hurt him again. Time nor death would touch her child. 

_Achilles, I’m sorry._ _I’m sorry if you think me cruel, but I can’t count the days until I lose you. I have lost everything else. I can’t fail at this too. You will be a God. The greatest, Mt.Olympus has ever seen._

* * *

 

Patroclus hummed as he added the finishing touches to his gift for Achilles. It was a simple carving of him playing the lyre, but hoped he would like it nonetheless.

 At the sounding of horns, hid a grimace. More gifts from King Peleus and no doubt the gossiping servants to accompany them. Patroclus rose to get Chiron, he would deal with them as well as receive any messages from the King.

* * *

 

The sound of their swords reverberated in the clearing. Achilles twisted again to block his mother’s swing. She seemed rather impressed with him, let’s just hope it stays that way. He went on the offensive.

His mother raised her sword again, the blows were becoming faster and faster. While neither of them were really winded, he was just sweating a bit. Achilles pushed a few stray hairs from his forehead.

 “ **Come on my son, I have seen better. You’re swings are getting sloppy. Again** .”

Gritting his teeth, they were getting sloppy because they had been at this for hours. He was tired, but should he mention this to his mother. 

She would scold him, accusing him of wanting to go and be with Patroclus. She wasn’t wrong, but it was too nice of a day to have his mood ruined. Because Gods forbid he be anything less than perfect, less than godly. 

Was it too much to ask that he could simply just sit with his mother and talk with her? Without the dance of blades, spears, and axes. It had all becoming so tiresome.  

He must have accidentally sighed, because his mother stopped her onslaught. He viewed her through crossed blades. 

“ **You see me as being hard on you. I come  here because I wish to visit you. To see that you are being educated well and improving in the arts of war. My son, all I wish for you is to grow into who you are meant to be. Have all that you need to be great. I wish I could see you more often, but it seems as if I can never find time to come more often.** ”

In his opinion she came too often, frightening all of the wildlife and Patroclus. Who could tell when she had come before he could. Which is why he blurted this out before he could stop himself.

“Mother, why don’t you just view me from the sea, surely you can see me always?”

In an instant his mother’s face went so dark, as if a storm brewed behind her dark eyes. The weight of her blade removed itself. 

“ **I can’t see you from way down there. The sources of water are much too pure for me. I-We are of the Sea,** ” she said, reaching to cradle his face. Achilles nearly flinched she was so cold, “ **never forget this** .” 

Achilles toyed with that tidbit of information. She could not see him here, it was no wonder she visited well past her two monthly visits. It made her anxious that she couldn’t order and interfere with his life as she pleased. Had he known, he probably would have kissed Patroclus much sooner, not doing so was driving him insane. It was as if every day he grew more and more beautiful.

“Of course mother. I shall never forget and I’m so grateful that you come to see me.” His mother seemed pleased at his answer, but still felt the tension surrounding her now that her secret was out. 

“ **Again, Achilles** ,” she called lifting her sword up once more, “ **then I must go.** ”

"Yes, mother." Their blades crossed again, but he couldn't stop feeling giddy. 

She couldn’t see him here, which meant she couldn’t see them here.

His mother had just given him the best possible news for his birthday.

* * *

 

The servants had whispered and looked among themselves, as they carried the now empty trunks back down the mountain. Patroclus eyed them wearily, no doubt they would be celebrated for the news they would bring of him and Achilles. He was glad when they finally disappeared from sight. They annoyed him to no end.

Achilles had poked through and grown bored of his gifts. Some well needed lyre strings, another set of tunics, more weapons, some gold armbands, and a skillfully woven saddle fit for a prince. Now, that had caught his attention, making him hold it out to Chiron, who thought it particularly funny.

“I hope that isn’t for me,” he said making them laugh even harder. It wouldn’t do them much good as a saddle, but it would serve more purpose as rags for cleaning, compassions, and bandages. Patroclus had even put a few scraps off aside for bleeding clothes. 

They ate and Chiron gave Achilles his gifts a simple cloak and a new dagger, which were much more practical for the mountains.

It was a happy afternoon spent roughhousing, and goring themselves on the juicy yet sticky fruits. A day that was coming to an end. Sunset had stretched over the forest, Chiron had allowed them to linger outside, but to venture no further than the circle of trees. 

Finding a cliff overlooking a grassy valley, they watched the twilight until it was filled with it bright stars. Achilles was stretched out like across the grass with him, pointing at the large bodies that were copied above their bed. Telling their stories. 

“Orion, the Hunter,” Achilles said pointing and even tracing the shape of the stars, “ It was said that he once loved the goddess, Artemis..,” he paused dramatically. Patroclus both loved and hated when he did that. Wanting to know what happened, even if he had heard all of the myths before. It was the way Achilles told them, speaking as if he had been there seen the events take place.

“ And she loved him....But when her brother, Apollo found out about their union, he devised a way to save her chastity. He tricked his sister into killing him by way of ..., overcome with grief Artemis begged Zeus to make him immortal, and he was made into a constellation in the stars.”

Patroclus sighed slightly.

“ _ That’s horribly sad _ ,” he thought, “ _ I pray to never have Achilles taken from me, I couldn’t bear it _ .” But he would whether it be marriage or war. In their society, Achilles was a man ready for a wife and so was he.

Achilles noticed he had grown quiet after his story.

“What’s the matter, didn’t you like it?” Patroclus shook his head, his curls bounced with the movement.

“I liked it, I always like how you tell myths, you speak as if you had been there.” Achilles flushed a little from the praise.  

“But I haven’t,” the way he told them was simply the way his father told him. His mother had never bothered, even if she knew the truth of them. 

“Did it upset you?”

“No, it’s just I feel…, sad for them to be separated from each other like that. I could not ever dream of such pain. ” he rolled from his back to face him.

“I don’t think I could ever...,” Patroclus bit his lip, he has almost told him. “ _ Bear to be away from you like that.” _

“What is it?” Achilles moved closer until their breath mingled together.

Patroclus flushed a little more 

“Nothing, pay it no mind.”

Achilles leaned into him, Gods he hoped he was right. Cupping his cheek, this could be his only chance or it could ruin everything.

Patroclus’ first thought was to pull away from him, but. What was he going to do? Reject him, he couldn't.

His soft lips met his and everything fell into place.

A spark.

Their spark.

 Achilles drew him ever closer until he was nearly in his lap. It was an eternity, before they finally stopped. Panting and flustered, with a bit of saliva falling down his lip. Patroclus swiped it at gently, Achilles held him still in his grasp. 

Patroclus was too frightened of ruining this, to pull away. Finally, he drew the strength to look at Achilles’ face. His usually light green eyes were dark with an emotion he couldn’t name, appearing breathless. Had he caused that? The thought made him dizzy.

“Sorry, I don't know what came-”

This time he instigated the kiss, Achilles didn’t run away from him this time. Instead he sucked on his tongue hard. Gripped his chin lightly to deepen it, turning the kiss even more sloppy. Achilles' hands gripped at his small of his back drawing him firmly in his lap.

“Mnh,” Patroclus could hardly contain the small moan that escaped him. Achilles peeked at him from under his golden lashes, pretty sure that if Achilles could he would be smirking.

“Sorry,” Patroclus muttered pulling back at last, moving out of his embrace. Gods, he had behaved so shameless.

Achilles caught his wrist, “ I kissed you first. You have nothing to apologize for.”

“Okay,” he said, his face ever red and turning even redder. 

“ It doesn’t have to mean anything if you don't want it to. I know I have hurt you, and I never meant to,” he nibbled on his bottom lip feeling nervous. Praying he wouldn't reject him. Although he would have every right.  Patroclus held his hands in his own, his lashes fluttering against his cheeks.

 “Achilles..” he started but Chiron was calling for them.

“Achilles and Patroclus where are you? It has growing late.”

 

They broke apart from each other so quickly, Achilles mourned the loss of his warmth. Patroclus stood first. He still didn't have an answer. Did Patroclus return his feelings or had he caused his heart to harden? Patroclus appeared shy as if he wanted to say more, but he before he could answer him. 

Chiron called them again, curses. Couldn't his teacher see he was trying to confess his feelings.

 

“Achilles we should go,” he held his hand out for him and Achilles took it. Heart feeling as if it was in shreds. Gods, he needed to know.

 

Before  he left Patroclus leaned over to plant a small kiss to his cheek, “We'll talk later, I promise I'll hold your answer,” he whispered then he was gone. Achilles was so red, he could feel the fierceness of the heat of it throughout his body. 

He stumbled after him in a daze, Patroclus liked him still. Maybe he even loved him.

* * *

 

Achilles had to contain his disappointment when nothing had happened, Patroclus had said nothing on the way and was even quieter in their room. Going to the bowl to rinse his face. 

Not knowing what else to say and how to ease his mind. His brain helpfully supplied.

“She cannot see us here.” Gods above he wanted to smack himself. 

“ _ You idiot. She cannot see us here. That was the best you could think to say.” _

Patroclus looked up at him from the bowl, towel held loosely in one hand.

“What?” 

Achilles’ face grew even redder, “ I said she cannot see us here. She was not pleased when I asked.”

Patroclus tilted his head, “Oh.” 

“ _ You’re an idiot, a complete and utter idiot.”  _ Achilles just wanted to bury his head in these pillows and never come out. “ _ Oh, Gods.”  _

 Patroclus settled next to him, reaching over to grasp his face. Achilles nuzzled into his palms.

“I couldn’t bear to be away from you, like Artemis and Orion, their story is simply too heartbreaking.”

His soft lips pressed against him again, Achilles drew him back into his arms.

They broke slightly, before they were intertwined once more.

* * *

 

These feelings were so new, this was so new. 

Achilles’ hands cautiously mapped him out, wanting to commit every freckle to memory. Every part of him to memory. Patroclus shifted a bit, hands guiding where he wanted him to touch him.

Until his hands rested themselves at his thighs, parting them to settle between them. Achilles had to take a moment to just admire how absolutely breathtaking Patroclus was.

Dark eyes hazed over with lust in anticipation with a touch of shyness. His lips swollen from his kisses. A blush like a fever across his cheeks, hair a dark puddle over their pillows. Achilles leaned down to kiss him again, there was nothing to hide. There was to be no secrets or shame between them. He was incredibly beautiful, every part of him.

 An all consuming hunger overtook them both, what started out slow left them both breathless. Patroclus deepened it pulling him down by his neck, fingers threading through his curls. An act of possession. Gods he loved being his.

Widening his legs more to let Achilles’ rest between them. Leading them to be even closer, cocks pressing and rubbing against each other. It went on like this for a few moments before they felt they needed more than this. He needed more than this.

Achilles wasn’t prepared to have Patroclus straddling him, he groaned even louder when Patroclus took them both in hand between them.

* * *

 

When they had awakened, the air had been thick with uncertainty. Neither of them were sure if they could go back to what they had been before. 

Achilles bit at his lip before speaking, “ I wasn’t sure if you returned my affections.” His forest green eyes held his own, “ or..”

“I do,” Patroclus responded quietly, his heart drumming against his chest. 

Achilles leaned into him, kissing him softly.

“And I return them tenfold,” he uttered against his lips, “ More than life itself.” Achilles again pressed his lips to his bringing him closer once more, Patroclus basked in his warmth. His love. 

Perhaps, no it was too early. Patroclus would tell him when the time was right, that he was a carrier. That and one day, he would give him such a pretty babe.

 

Finally, they had to be parted from each other before lessons. Lest Chiron catch on to their budding relationship. Achilles had left first, Patroclus had taken his time. Sore from last night.

Gods, he couldn’t help the quiet laugh that escaped him. They had been so silly pining over each other. Oh, how his heart was lighter, his whole being felt lighter. Achilles loved him.

* * *

 

Patroclus couldn’t stop smiling, or humming as he went about his daily chores. Achilles sported similar red cheeked grins. 

His pupils had thought themselves so clever that he had no idea of what was going on between them. Chiron saw the sweet smiles they sent each other. How they blushed. Finally, they had told each other of their affections. Now, what he wouldn't tolerate is them slacking on their lessons and chores. 

* * *

 

After a morning spent wrapped in bliss, a sudden dread flooded his system. How could he have been so careless, that had been so reckless of him. 

He had all but let Achilles take his purity. What if Achilles didn’t feel the same, truly. If it was only sex, between them. Hormones. They hadn’t even gone that far yet. As far as everyone was concerned, he was still pure and untouched. Without a child or his hymen broken. Marriage was still a possibility. If any would ever want him.

Gods, he prayed his spouse would be kind to him, but even harder Patroclus prayed for a way for Achilles to be made his. Because all he wanted was to be his.

* * *

 

Patroclus was quiet during lessons and he wondered if he had made a mistake. That he had ruined their pure friendship. He sincerely hoped he would tell him what was bothering him because any doubts he had Achilles would soothe them. Any challenges they would face, they would face them together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well finally, took y'all long enough. Someone help these children.
> 
> Achilles: Patroclus is so innocent and sweet.  
> Patroclus: ...  
> Patroclus:... Sure.. let's go with that

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me a comment, I love chatting with you guys :)


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